I'm going to share something gritty, real, and raw about my life with you.
My older brother is a life long drug addict. He's been in and out of rehab and jail multiple times. He's lost his job and his house.
I have held hope that each time he's really kicked the habit. And each time he's begun using again, I tell myself I should have known. I tell myself he has the power to change and it's his choices that have got him where he is today. And that's true.
But as much as I don't understand his addiction, I've felt superior to him. I've comforted myself with the fact I would never allow myself to walk the road he's chosen.
And last night, I saw him at a belated family Christmas party. I haven't seen him in over a year.
But I saw something else. I saw a man who wanted to be around his family. A man who needs love. A man who Jesus Christ died on a cross for, even though Jesus knew the path my brother would choose. And Jesus loves him, loves him beyond the things he's done and the choices he's made.
And so do I. I wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him.
Then I asked him if I could pray for him. He said yes. So in a room filled with probably over 60 extended family members, with stereo blasting and kids weaving between tables and chairs, I pulled my brother in a hug and I prayed out loud for God to protect Him, for the Holy Spirit to speak to Him and work in his heart, even when I had to push the words past the tears burning my throat.
He turned to me and said “You're going to make me cry.” And I told him that was all right. Then he left.
I don't know if he'll ever beat addiction, but I know that my prayer meant something. And that if I never see him again, I won't regret loving and praying with Him.
But I would have regretted not praying with him. I would have regretted not listening to that still small voice of the Holy Spirit, because it was me who was changed last night.
God allowed me to see an addict through His eyes, not through my own. I'm tearing up as I write this, because of how God has humbled me.
So I share this with you to show you that God can work through any situation to show us a part of Him if we open ourselves up to the Holy Spirit.
Is there any area of your life that God's convicted you?
This post will show you how to pray effectively pray intercessory prayers.
My son is struggling with alcohol addiction. Thank you for this beautiful prayer. You say they God hears our prayers. I am lost on how to help my son, he is an adult. All that I can do is pray for him. I pray that God brings someone into his life that will give him strength and courage. To show him that life is beautiful. It’s terrible to see what addiction does to a loved one and also the entire family. Thank you allowing me to post this. God Bless
Please pray for my husband of 46 years. I’m standing for emotional, financial and spiritual healing – that The Holy Sprit convicts and delivers my husband and that he comes home (he left 08/2018. My husband is a good man and came to the Lord some years ago, but is now dealing with fear, abandonment issue and I believe while still believes in God is mad at God. This is a lot I know and I have wondered if God will restore this mess. God is faithful, this know, but
there are times I think there is no way my husband cam be touché because he thinks he can do it on how own.
Thank you Melissa for your prayers – means more than you’ll ever know.
Diana
I have a son, he was trouble from the get-go. Big trouble. I never had a minute to breathe raising him. He did crazy things to neighbours, other kids…brought him to every doctor I could find growing up…never got any help. He definitely had something going on…but never diagnosed. First court stint at 14…juvenile detention by 15…crimes that made me decide I couldn’t take him back…he had always been a danger to his younger siblings.
He is 30 now. Last I saw him was 8 years ago. After many many many shows of complete disrespect, anger issues, I feared him, for me and the rest of the family. Christmas Eve he prostituted out my front door and made some John in my driveway really angry. I told him I could never see him again until he was clean.
He calls me about once a month, he has no sense of reality left. He knows he cannot ever visit our home. He no longer knows where we live. We never told him where when we moved. It was better that way. He’s asked to come home many times. I can’t.
The last pictures I saw of him were about 3 years ago…soul less. Haunted…Pictures that break a mothers heart. I could not bear to see him today, it would break me all over again and i don’t think I could be broken again.
I pray…all the time, but have lost hope.
It took great courage to pray with your brother like that! Following God’s will. God has never given me direction with this one. I bring myself a lot of guilt.
Addiction in the family is never easy. I don’t look down on him, in fact I fear that on a weak moment perhaps it could happen to me. Life can change in the twinkle of an eye, the stroke of a pen…a car accident can leave you addicted to awful drugs. I know better than to look down on him. But I am bitter.
Claiming the Blood and asking for a hedge are two of the best pieces of advice you could ever give anyone. I had forgotten those. Thanks for the reminder!
I pray that some day you see your brother saved…God can do miracles with a heart that is handed over to Him. Jesus Bless You for living with his heart!
So much confirmation! I’m so grateful for a God who speak & is faithful to us even when we’re not as faithful. My husband has been battling addiction to alcohol severely for almost 2 yrs now. We’ve been married for 8 yrs. And for the past 3 weeks or so now, the Lord has changed my perspective on all of this. Prior I was all for an intervention, was speaking to an interventionalist and the only thing left to do was gather all our close family & friends together and have this happen. At an intervention u must draw a line a firm boundary and stick with it no matter what. Such as if u don’t seek help I’m talking the kids and leaving. But God got a hold of me and began showing me what true love really looked like, and how he was always there for those who needed him the most, the outcasts the demon possessed man, the lepers! He didn’t draw a line and say if u do good or be good I’ll love u. No! He loved those who thought were unlovable. Who were made to feel unworthy! So how can I who made a Covenant with my spouses draw a line and say well I’m done with you since u don’t want to get help! God began showing me, love him the way I do! Even in his mess! Love him unconditionally! Bc I love him unconditionally.
Oddly enough now that I’m not in agreement with this intervention, everyone who couldn’t get together back then can now, and when I was approached about having this intervention done NOW and I shared what God was saying to me about it and not going thru with it, I was told well things well only get worse. ( oh if they only knew) and once the pressure gets to be to much I don’t doubt Ull be headed to get a divorce!
I know with God on my side this to shall pass. I have faith to believe it!
Thank u for sharing this post so much!
I pray the same deliverance that my husband will receive, that ur brother receive also in Jesus name!
Hi Melissa,
I came upon your post as I was searching for hope and inspiration. My loved one is battling an addiction as well and I feel helpless. Your post has inspired me to pray with my loved one daily as we once did when I was a child. I thank you for the inspiration. I will keep your brother and family in my prayers as well and I hope that since the time you wrote this post, his life has been blessed with happiness and health and healing. May God Bless you. Andrea
Melissa,
Thank you for sharing you have no Idea how that your share has help remind me to continue to stand on God’s word and not be move.
I am a Mother of 2 Son and 6 grandchildren.
We have a 34 year old Son who has 6 children, he has battle with Drug addiction and jail similar to you brother.
My husband and I had to take guardianship of are grandchildren starting in 2004 due to the life events going on in his life. My Son has 6 Children with 3 different women and it was very important to me and my husband that they were able to have the chance to be all that God has called them to be. Young children do not get to pick or step out when their parents make bad choices and stop caring for them like they should.
Our Son in 2010 was arrested along with his girlfriend for drug when my grandson was less that 1month old and they spent several months in Jail and heavy fines and so on and for the next 3yrs things were progressing because God’s Grace was removing and renewing in them his plan for them. Then in 2013 the Lord had check me I had notice a few things a little off and shortly after that my son and wife separated which had thrown him in a spin again .
Last week he was involved in a car accident where he was hit by a semi and thrown from the vehicle. He has several broke bone & ribs we also were told other things also. Now after we had told him on his last arrest that was drug related a few weeks before ether accident he could not stay at our house he know is unable to walk and the truck he was living in is destroyed he is staying at are home until he recovers .
I have found myself very uncompassionate towards him, really struggling with his sometime disrespect attitude and could you hurry please.
So when I read you blog which is my 1st time , the Lord reminded me of how much God loves him and that my position is in prayer and to love him with the love of the lord . So God Bless and thank you so much for sharing.
Sincerely
I just stumbled upon your blog, just looking for a no pectin strawberry jam recipe, which I found, but stumbled upon this excerpt. I was almost at the verge of tears reading your story of you praying for your brother, and I just felt the love of God pouring from your heart as you prayed for him. AWESOME !, and reading the story of one of one of your commentors who had a dream about their friend who was still a drug addict. I am praying that the friend has been saved, set free, and delivered since then. Have you heard anything else from “Dusty” since then ? God just started me back to just telling random strangers “Jesus loves you”, or “God loves you”, and while that might not seem like much in my eyes, it may make a very BIG impact in the life of that person that I tell. I thought about when we say YES to the Lord, and that we will do his will, that’s when he begins to start us off with the small things first, to see if we really mean what we say. If he can trust us with the small things he’s given us to do, then he can trust us with the big things later. I go to a church that is full of people from all walks of life, many different diverse ethnicities, and just the most down to earth folks that you’d ever want to meet, here in Lafayette, Indiana. I LOVE it ! I went to a church for 4 years, and I felt the spirit of people who snubbed their noses up at those of us who didn’t have income in the upper thousands range, and it’s a shame that people miss out on God, what he wants to do thru them, and the souls that he wants them to reach, just because they think they’re better than everyone else. I’ve learned that when you say YES to God, he will get you out of what you call your comfort zone, and give you the courage to do what he has called you to do. You keep doing what you do for God, and see if he doesn’t take you to higher heights and deeper debts in the natural & the spiritual. Be blessed , and you now have a new subscriber. Thanks, I look forward to receiving posts from you. Sincerely Michelle Hill (a fellow christian wife of a soon to be saved husband, and mom of 6.
thanks for posting that.
You’re welcome. 🙂
Melissa, I just found and subscribed to your blog today. I was on here looking around and saw this post about the addict and I had to read it. You see I am a recoverd alcohol and drug addict. 12 years. I now have a beautiful 4 year old son and a good life. 12 years ago I was in the pit of hell. I needed to see this post because I have caught myself over the years feeling superior sometimes. I feel like, “look at me, I got it together, why can’t they?” But for the grace of God go I. I must remember that all those years ago God brought me through my addiction, it was when I finally leaned on Him and truly surrendered, He brought me through it. If I had had someone in my life like you, who would have prayed for me and loved me, I think maybe I would have gotten clean a lot sooner. Ya’ll will be in my prayers.
I’m going through a similar issue. I’m a recovered addict, 2 years clean. My close friend, an old drug buddy, is very near death. I’m a fairly new Christian, about a year old, and I haven’t always been so faithful. I haven’t seen her or really even spoken to her since I got clean, (she moved to another state before I got clean) and the other night I had a dream about her that was very vivid. In it, I saw pictures of her dead, naked, dirty body, eyes open, covered in bruises and bite marks. Then I heard a voice in my dream saying, “She’s in Hell for eternity because you failed to share the gospel with her.” I woke up feeling frantic, and hoping it wasn’t true. I knew it was from the Lord.
She ended up calling me a week later, saying she was moving back home! I immediately remembered the dream, and I felt foolish, but I knew the Lord wanted me to tell her about it and share His word. I did share my dream with her, but I kind of laughed it off and moved on. It’s about a week later now. I just learned that she is so much worse off then I thought. Her whole life has imploded in the space of 2 weeks – that’s how long she’s been home.
Her mother in law took the kids from her because she keeps disappearing for days at a time and will drop the kids off at school and then just not come back. That’s happened a few times. She is going into the city every single day with a man double her age (she’s 25) to sell her precious body for free drugs – no one knows who she’s with or where she is when she’s gone. This is a man she just met. I have no idea how or where she met him.
I then learned that she has stolen a total of $1,800 from 2 different people in only 2 weeks time. She was confronted, and asked to strip bare because of strange bruises on her arms – only to find out, that she is covered in marks and bruises, with a large number of bruises on her upper legs and inner thighs. Then I learned that the bruises on her legs were from being raped multiple times – all within 2 weeks! – all in the pursuit of “free” drugs. I cannot fathom how broken, hopeless and worthless she must feel. She is so much worse then I thought, that I honestly don’t think she’ll come back from this. I’m expecting to hear she has been murdered or ODed within the next few months. She’s already been brutally raped and beaten more then once, and only in 2 weeks.
When I learned all this, I was upset and I wondered, why me? Why did I get clean and she didn’t? We were both in the same situation, but one day, I walked into a treatment facility and got help, and she didn’t. Why?
The Lord revealed to me as I was crying, praying for her, that it was not of my own accord that I got clean. I was blessed to have people praying for me, and 2 specific names came immediately to mind. Those prayers, repeated faithfully, saved my soul. I then realized that she didn’t have people like that in her life, and I needed to be the one to pray for her.
I also was convicted of my pride in thinking she might view me as strange or fanatical by sharing God’s word with her. I should have taken that opportunity to let God’s light into her dark life and instead I was afraid of what she would think. What a grave, grave mistake! I cried even more realizing that when I stood before the judge, that I’d have to take responsibility for not sharing God’s word as told. I realized that I don’t want to stand before God and have Him tell me that she was going to be saved, had I only done what He wanted me to, but since I was disobedient, that she was in hell and I did have a part to play in that.
We don’t realize how important this is! You may be the last person that is going to speak to them about their salvation – EVER! They may not be there next time for you to get around to obeying! You may have been the one that was supposed to bring them to the Lord, because the Lord had softened that person’s heart – they just need to hear the message! I personally don’t want to hear that my family or friends are burning in hell because I was too ashamed to tell others about
the God that died for me so I may live.
I realized that I actually denied my Lord and disobeyed Him all in one fell swoop. It was then I realized that I needed help on intercessory prayer and learning how to stand in the gap for a loved one. I searched “spiritual warfare stand in the gap” and this was the site that popped up 1st. I know it was the Lord.
I just wanted to say that the Lord found our sin more repugnant then any offense we could ever take of our loved ones behavior. Thank you for this article, and I hope my friend will know the Lord soon. Only He could turn this around.
Dusty,
Praise be to our God that He healed you and brought you to freedom. Following Him can be hard, but you know how it feels when we don’t, stand firm in Him my friend.
Dear Jesus,
You know Dusty and the woman mentioned above, You knew them when they were created in their mother’s womb. Please set the captives free Jesus. Give Dusty the wisdom and courage from you to speak to her. May Your Holy Spirit pour from Dusty’s mouth and take deep root in her heart. We pray for healing and miracles in their lives. Please put a hedge of protection around them, the children, and their families. May your glory come from this, Lord, In Jesus name, Amen.
Absolutely beautiful. I know it must have been hard to write this. We can all use to hear this lesson more.
Thank you, Tammy. This was one of the hardest things I ever wrote, but one of the most powerful lessons for me, so I’m glad it touches others the way it did me. I’ve come to learn when things feel difficult, it means we’re growing. 🙂
Excellent post. Heart-wrenching and beautiful. I hate the genetic predisposition involved in addictions (not to mention a million other things). Thank you for the courage to be real and raw.
Thank you for your words, Cherrie. I too, hate the genetics, but I know the genetics handed down to us from the Father are stronger if we claim our inheritance in Him.
[…] Addiction stole my brother from me. But God used my brother’s addiction to convict me. […]
[…] disease continues to rear its head among my family. Particularly, one of my older brothers. But God Used an Addict to Convict Me and teach me a powerful lesson. Thankfully, we serve a God who can work in any situation. […]
[…] How God Used an Addict to Convict Me- Guest Post “Gritty, real, raw…” I knew when I read this post that I had to share it here. Melissa K. Norris is a fellow lover of all things country, an author and an inspiring woman. I hope I grow up to be like her! She was kind enough to let me copy her post for you to read. For country living tips, Christian fiction giveaways, insightful faith posts and more please, stop by her blog HERE and subscribe. She did not tell me to say that! Originally posted on Melissa K. Norris’ blog on January 8, 2012 […]
I just love this post Melissa. Would you consider guest posting this as a re-post on my blog? It really fits with my theme of discovering a new perspective.
God has been teaching me this lesson over and over. I’m currently reading about the Prodigal son and realizing how much I’m like the older brother who misses the blessing of heaven because he is proud and callous.
My sis was a drug addict too but God got a hold of her. She is now married to a neat Christian guy who like motorcycles and tattoo’s and they have a 6mo old baby. 🙂 It’s cool what God can do. She says now that it was our consistent love that made her question her life. When I’m done with my current WIP I’m going to tell her story next!
I’d love to do this a repost. This was the scariest post personally I ever wrote and the one that has had the most impact.
I’m so happy to hear about your sister. We serve an awesome God.
Let me know when you want to post it and thanks for asking! I’m so glad we “found” each other in the vastness of social media.
[…] week I shared how God used an addict, my brother, to convict me of Godly compassion. I was overwhelmed by the support and outreach from […]
Compassion not condemnation is what we are to have. Like the parable of the lost son in Luke 15, ” The younger son had squandered his wealth in wild living.”He said ” I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. II Corinthians 1:3-4 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have recieved from God.”
Nothing says it quite as well as the word of God. Thanks for sharing these verses.
Sissy thanks so much for your post! it’s so true ! We are not his Judge! I have had to ask God so many times for his help to get through this! It hurts me tho when I see the hurt in mom and dads eyes to see the hell their son is going through! But I still have faith that he will see the light! Love you so much sissy!
Sissy Bevie
Thanks, Bevie. I was hoping this would be a help to others. Faith is the only thing that will get us through, so here’s to falling on our knees before God while we fight the good fight and slay the enemy! I love you, too.
Wow Melissa, how powerful! I actually wasn’t going to read your post but something drew me to it. I read it with tears in my eyes and a conviction that I need to love my brother as he is instead of being ashamed of him. You see, he is gay and that goes against everything that the Bible teaches. Who am I to judge! He needs my love and my prayers. Thank you for this post. God is using it! Praying for you and your brother. Would you be so kind to do the same for me and my brother? I haven’t seen him in about 5 years. Blessings!
Judy, I’m so thankful God used my words to reach you. I understand your struggle. I have a sister and two neices are gay. I will pray for you and your brother and that God will work through this situation to touch both of your hearts. I do believe we can only reach people when our arms are outstretched with Jesus’ heart. Thank you so much for stopping and your comment.
Oh, Cecily. I am such a work in progress, but thank you for your sweet words. You are my sister and I remember our childhood times with fondness. Thanks for your prayers, sis.
Loree, the enemy has a strong foothold in addiction. Your prayers are helping fight the battle, even when we don’t see any evidence, I firmly believe that. I hope you’ll all jolin me as we pray for restoration from all that addiction has stolen from not only the abuser, but their loved ones. Thanks for all your support.
Thank you, Andrea.
Well I have read all of your comments and this passage from Miss, Not only is she a writer but this is truly Missy she is what god want us all to strive for . I grew up being one of her neighborhood friends well I guess at a young age her only neigh boor friend so needless to say she was stuck with me , we played, fought,competed, cried, had great times together and some rough times but through it all we are still friends and I will always look at her as a sister I never had, regardless of how our lives change, You like I have told you before make my day better by reading you post. I too will pray for our brother. 🙂
Emotional post. Thanks for sharing.
I know where you are at. We too have a substance abuser/alcoholic in the family- my husband’s sister. It’s been a long, difficult road. I pray for her everyday. It was so bad when the my kids were young, that we couldn’t allow her around them. She hasn’t seen them in years. It’s such a shame, she doesn’t know her nieces and nephews. She chose (and still does) the bottle instead.
I will be praying for you and your brother.
Omygosh Melissa! What a beautiful post. You brought tears to MY before you even mentioned yours. That was a beautiful thing you did and what a beaitful reaction from him.
Praying for him. And for you.
Thanks, Martha. It’s been an emotional 24hours. 🙂 Thanks for all your prayers, they mean so much.
Melissa, God is so beautiful with us. May your brother be so blessed and his spirit heard your prayer as you hugged him. I have a missing brother. He called me in 1983 after our father died a few months earlier. I do not know where he is. He is seven years older than me. I am thankful your brother came home for such a time as this.
My heart and prayers go out to you. Not knowing must be so difficult, but even though you don’t know where your brother is, God does. I hope that brings some comfort and I will pray for you.
Hi Melissa – what a telling reality. We often don’t consider the other side. Until I was struck by the reality of how fallen I truly was and how sinful my life had turned, I seemed to look down on many of those “terrible” sinners. God broke my heart and my spirit and turned my thoughts around and caused me to look at life and people with compassion and mercy. Bless you for sharing, may God turn us all around and “love as Christ loved us.”
Michael, God is bringing my heart to be more like His, though I’ve still got a long way to go. 🙂 Like you said, it easy to some times look down on the “terrible” sinners, but He’s reminding me we are more than our sins and all of us have fallen short.
Thank you for sharring this Melissa. It saddens me that some Christians look down on people like your brother but it thrills me that you were willing to obey God’s voice and pray with your brother. You aré doing what God expects of us..:…loving him. Can you imagine how hes feeling now after your prayer and letting him know you love him? I will pray for him too as God brings him to my mind.
Joy, thanks for your comment and support. I was a little nervous to bear this much of my soul publicly. I appreciate your prayers.